Respecting Standards

Throughout the years, I have broken some of my standards to make other people happy so they will like me or be with me.  Years passed by, and I started getting wiser,  I started learning from my lessons. Yes .. tough like hell, but hey, I am here with my head up and keep going. Life is not easy because after experience any situation in your life then a new situation with tiny differences from the situation before makes you wonder if you should keep going or walk away. 

Since I moved to NY 18 years ago, I had to confront every situation by myself, so I didn’t have a choice, I couldn’t give up cause I came too far to disappoint myself or others. Yes! I cared way too much what others thought of me. I still do sometimes, but I am getting better at it. 

I have standards for many situations, but the two most important are friendships and relationships. I am a sucker for making friends or partners happy no matter how I feel.  I used to do anything for them even break my standards cause I feel bad, responsible for their happiness thinking that I was going to mess up their time or life if I keep my standards in place… later I understood that many of them were doing whatever they need to achieve what they were looking for because at the end people want things on their terms, then is when I decided that I will respect my standards no matter what because respecting my rules is respecting who I am.

A year ago, I moved from Astoria, Queens to Westchester, NY. It was a great decision because I moved in with two of my best friends, who I can proudly call family. But I had the time to look inside me and find good and bad things. I focused on myself and start doing things that when I was younger people used to tell me I was not good at it, like drawing, singing, It was a year that made me growth internally and mentally. 

Now when I am in a position that I need to decide to break any of my standards I stop and think if it is going to be worth it, because if it is not, I would rather say no for more that makes me lose someone from life.  At the end the person I should be taking care always is me.